Jens’ new bike for the ATOC
Why May is pink and why there will never be another Marco. No one climbs on the drops like this any more…
More things we hate, by people who love cycling…
Dave’s:
1. Fat blokes with deep rim sections worth more than my bike
2 land rovers
3 when the guy in front cleans out his nose without changing lines
4 fizzy d*ck
5 buckles
6 waiting for Lowell to turn up
7 the old bloke in Ron hills with whom I pretend I’m not racing up Ladbroke grove each morning
8 poorly wrapped bar tape
9 When you dig and nothing’s there.
10. Not winning
Things we hate about cycling
First, Stu
1) people with super expensive bikes- b*stards!
2) not getting 2 lie-ins at the weekend
3) pretending not to be tired on a Sunday afternoon
4) wet feet when it rains
5) getting dropped!
6) punctures
7) headwinds on the way home
8) cycling cliques
9) bonking
10) walking in cleats
Next, Ben’s:
1) getting passed by someone wearing fluoro and trainers.
2) unidentified squeaks, ticks and clicks.
3) the endless cycle of tech desire.
4) the days when you just don’t have it
5) Rapha emails when I’m skint.
6) only finding one arm warmer when one has two arms.
7) people who jump lights when I stop, and people who stop at lights and tut when I’m jumping them.
8) Inexplicably annoying fonts on down tubes eg Giant.
9) rude pr*cks, on bikes or off
10) Drivers who don’t indicate, or can’t because they’re on the phone or smoking a spl*ff and remind me that, ultimately, life’s sweet fire might be snuffed out in a throwaway moment by a careless d*ck. In a van.
Next, Lowell:
1. people who have taken all this time to cycle and do NOT enjoy it
2. being late
3. not pulling my weight
4. being called a ”Baracuda”, or a “Borrw-Dear!”
5. people with super expensive bikes, with a cheap attitude
6. kicking myself for missing a decent breakfast
7. seeing others bonk, and yet they still outdo me
8. Alex, and others giving 60%, when I’m giving it my all
9. rushing home to be with the other people I care about
10. that certain other club ;-)
Finally, for now, Alex;
1. Cleaning your bike, especially the chain
2. Cold toes
3. Kit envy, especially that gilet of Mr Acklands ;)
4. Pot holes
5. Head winds
6. Evans Cycles
7. Accidentally getting lost and finding way on to 3 lane A3
8. Chammois chaffing
9. Sales assistant at Condor who is too honest, and informs girlfriend that only difference between £30 endura garment and £100 rapha garment is the name. Idiot!
10. Worn and clicking bearings in pedals
Sub Zero
When winter’s the season
The freezin’s the REASON
the B-boys are leaving their beds.
In layers they’ll be wrapping
Their arms they’ll be flapping
With sheep’s wool fit tight round their heads
And while others lie sleeping
Or one eye shut peeping out windows
And thinking ‘Not I!’
The B-boys are rising
Their eyes on horizons
And dreaming of climbs in the sky…
